Tips for having the perfect first date are ubiquitous. But what if you have no interest in who you’re meeting? What if you’ve been cajoled into a date you don’t want, or mistakenly arranged it in an inebriated state? If you haven’t managed to cancel beforehand, but never want to hear from them again, then this guide is for you. Based on a survey of ELITESINGLES members’ first date preferences, here’s how to most efficiently ruin your first date.
1. Forget dinner or coffee.
Just 1% of women and 5% of men want to meet at home as a first date, so suggesting this may even derail your night before it’s even begun. If home isn’t an option and you must choose somewhere public, offer the cinema, with just 2% of women and 3% of men questioned wanting a movie-date.
2. Act indifferently.
With 93% of people believing first dates are important, acting nonchalantly will evidently upset most first-daters. Turn up late, dress inappropriately and behave ambivalently to best offend their ambitions from the very beginning.
3. Don’t tell jokes.
66% of women asked rated their date’s ability to make them laugh their no.1 first date priority. Men, too, consider this the key ingredient of a successful date. If you really want to ruin, keep your humor to an absolute minimum and there’s every chance you’ll never see them again.
4. Be ‘romantic’.
If your date nonetheless insists on continuing the evening, planning your conversation carefully will make this your last date. Try and seduce your partner, speak emotionally and share your life story with your date (according to the survey, this behavior would put off 92% of women and 84% of men). Pick the right topics, too: forget day-to-day common interests and stories (overwhelmingly preferred by women in the survey) and focus on serious topics like politics, economics and religion. If somehow things remain on-track, bring out your future plans together, the conversation topic wanted least by this survey’s participants.
5. Don’t pay the bill.
Unbelievably, your date remains with you. Don’t panic. For men, ignore the embarrassment and hold firm until she offers to pay the bill. Just 2% of women in the poll indicated a desire to pay, with the majority – 54% – preferring to go Dutch. Reject this chance to split the bill and say goodbye forever to your date!